Panties Full of Posies
As a novice gardener, years ago I remember standing by a particularly sparse bed of vegetation and screaming, “Grow! You stupid flowers! Bloom!”, and almost crying in frustration at not getting the results that I wanted after many weeks of earthy labor. Flowers, it seems, will ignore these types of pleas if you ignore their need to be placed in an area that corresponds to their nature. As gardeners, we need to accept this ground rule. Embracing this law signals your advancement to the rank of actual “gardener”, because until you have passed this marker you will just be a wild, out-of-control killer; another muderer in Eden. After years, I finally passed this embarrassing milestone, and yet I still find myself trying to bend this rule. Now though, I have discovered something new; adult diapers and the universe of container gardening.
A year or two ago, I installed some beautiful open-wire flower boxes under the windows of my house. Into these I planted a stunning collection of bloomers and trailing foliage. Immediately, I went into full combat with the afternoon sun. The little instructions that came with these plants advised that direct sunlight would be okay, but despite being placed into the best potting soil for this problem, it was clear that I was going to lose this battle. I simply could not keep up with the watering requirements with such a high and dry location. I needed to find a way to conserve water in the soil or there was never going to be more than flat, dead grass and dry twigs under these windows of mine.
Sometimes gardeners and writers have to start over and that’s what I did. I overturned the boxes and started fresh. This time, I unfolded some adult diapers and spread them all over the inside of the window boxes with their absorbent sides facing into the boxes. I re-filled the boxes with new soil and flowers, hung them back up and gave them a good watering.
Adult diapers are filled with superabsorbent polymer (SAP) which can absorb as much as 30 times its own weight in fluid. It is non-toxic and it is a modern marvel. In my window boxes, the polymer did its job very well; absorbing water when it rained, these little crystals gave up their water at the perfect rate to keep the soil in my flower boxes moist and fertile.
Okay, Im not the one who discovered this. My best friend told me about it and frankly I do not know who first came up with this idea. Diapers and gardens might seem an odd match at first, but certainly both take care of manure very well.
Have a good summer.